The Swear Jar

My family and I have been suffering from potty mouth lately. My teenage son was the worst (I include frick and fricken as swearing), but my husband and I were pretty bad, too.

A few days before Thanksgiving, we decided that we needed to do something about it. We agreed that each of us would put $1 into a jar on the kitchen counter each time we swore. We're running this program on the honor system. At the end of the month, we divide the money between the 4 of us. The first 10 days were the worst. We had almost $30 in the jar by the end of November.

I'm embarrassed to say that I had to put a $5 bill in last Sunday after a rant, but overall, I think the plan is working. I noticed that we have been cleaning up our language. If nothing else, it has certainly raised our awareness of how often we swear.

We've been extending the system lately to include some other bad verbal habits. My daughter is working on not saying "Huh?" in response to every comment, and my teenage son is working on not addressing my husband and I as "Dude."

Maybe we'll work on "like" next...

Fire safety - one simple habit change

Tonight as my husband was making dinner, the smoke detector in the kitchen went off again. My son, my daughter, and I were all upstairs busy with a variety of activities. We all trooped down to the kitchen to investigate.

A year ago, my kids and I would have ignored the smoke alarm, assuming that this was just another case of someone burning food. (Yes, this happens fairly frequently at my house.) Over the last several months, I've been on a mission to retrain my family to always react when the smoke alarm goes off. At minimum, we all need to go to the source of the alarm and verify that there's no real issue.

I think this would be a good habit for everyone to develop and one that parents need to teach their children. When you hear a smoke detector or fire alarm going off... you need to stop what you're doing and get out (or at least investigate the issue if it's at home).

In the case of an actual fire, we've got an agreed on meeting place. Everyone needs to gather at our mailbox by the curb. That way we can quickly determine if anyone's been left inside. It's important to review fire safety with your kids on a regular basis, so they remember what to do in an emergency.

Anyone have any other tips for helping kids be fire safe?

Teaching your teen about charity and poverty

My kids have everything they need and almost everything they want. This has made gift giving a big challenge and has led to a sense of entitlement that really bothers me.

Last week, a co-worker told me about the Kiva gift certificate program. You can give your teen a Kiva gift certificate in an amount as small as $25 that will let your teen choose an entrepeneur in a developing country and make a micro-loan to that person. Your teen can then follow the progress of this entrepreneur online over the course of the loan (usually 6 to 12 months). This teaches your teen about the situation in developing countries, what it takes to start a business, and the power of one person to make a difference.

At the end of the loan period, your teen can get his money back or loan it out again to support a new entrepeneur.

Easy Halloween celebration

Looking for an easy way to celebrate Halloween with your neighbors?   

Here's an idea:  Host a pumpkin carving party during the week before Halloween.   

You can order pizzas and make it BYOB.  Each family brings their own pumpkins to carve and takes them home after the party. There's no need to even tidy up your house if you hold the event in your yard or garage. Just be sure to provide plenty of garbage cans, carving tools, and a place for folks to wash their hands. 

Fostering art appreciation

You can help foster your child's enjoyment of art and museums.  Here's what worked for my family.

When my kids were little, we set a pattern of taking them to museums and exhibits of various kinds. We started with the local children's discovery museum, airplane and train museums, the natural history museum, and science and technology museums.  We also regularly visited zoos and aquariums.  Hands-on museums were the best when they were in the 3-7 range.

As my kids got older, we started branching out into art museums, historical exhibits, and other cultural events.  To keep their interest, I found that it helps to create a little paper handout for them to fill out. I bring a clipboard and a pencil from home for them. For an art museum, the handout may include things like this:

• What piece of art do you like most and why?
  
• What is your least favorite piece of art and why?
  
• What's the oldest piece of art you can find? Who created it and when?
  
• Find a piece of art made from multiple materials. What's it made of? Do you like it?
  
• Is there a piece that you don't think should qualify as "art"? Why?

When my kids finish the handout, I give them each a dollar or two to spend in the museum store.  This keeps them engaged and rewards them for participating.  On the way home, we talk about their answers. It gets them to think about what they're seeing and form opinions about it. And, they think it's fun. Kind of like a treasure hunt.

My kids are 12 and 14 now, and they both love to go to museums. They each have different preferences in art and like different types of museums and exhibits.  

Many museums are free for one or two days each month, so check around if you're on a tight budget.  

Modeling responsibility

Unfortunately, I had the opportunity to model responsibility to my tween daughter the other day when I scraped the bumper of another car while trying to parallel park. I dutifully wrote out a note with my name and contact information to leave on the windshield of the other car, and I took pictures of the damage to my car and the other car with a camera I happened to have in the trunk.

While this event pretty much ruined my day, I look back on it now, a few days later, and realize I was given a great opportunity to model responsibility and accountability to my daughter. I'm sure that watching me take responsibility for a mistake I had made was more powerful than any abstract conversation would be. Of course, having the follow up conversation is also good.

So, look for those opportunities to model the behavior you want from your children, whether it's giving back the extra change when the cashier gives you too much, holding the door for the woman struggling with the stroller, or apologizing when you're wrong. Your kids are watching.

Making "Green" part of your family life

Taking care of the environment is a factor in dozens of little choices every day. Do you make a special trip to the store when you want just one thing? Do you buy bottled water or buy a refillable water bottle? You can engage your children in these choices and help them learn to be green too.

Ask your kids questions to get them thinking about it. "Is it better to use a paper plate and throw it away or use a dish that you're going to have to wash?" "Is it better to use a paper towel or a sponge to clean up a mess?" What are the resources used in each option? If they don't know, can they find the answer on the Internet?

My kids are exceedingly aware of the price of gas. We have two Hybrids (a subject for another post). My kids are always pointing out the big SUVs and trucks on the road as gas guzzlers and talking about how much those families probably pay for each trip. They especially love to point out the 7-passenger cars with just one person in them.

Get your kids to think about the tradeoffs. If it costs us $40 less than that SUV driver to get to the City, we can buy pizza for dinner with the money we saved.

By bringing up green issues and making them a part of my kids everyday conversations, I'm hoping the message is sinking in and that they'll use this heightened awareness in their decisions even when I'm not around.

Giving back to society is fun and easy

And, it can even make you smarter. How can this be, you might ask? Check out FreeRice a site where you play a vocabulary game and each time you get the answer right, FreeRice donates rice to the UN World Food Program. The more you play, the more food is donated and the better your vocabulary becomes. It's a win-win-win situation. This is a great opportunity to talk to your children about how to contribute to the greater good.

The game is set up to handle many different levels so even young children can play. As your kids get into this game, you can use it as a jumping off point to brainstorm with them about other ways they might be able to help the less fortunate. If you've never talked about starvation in 3rd world countries, this can help you start that conversation.

What are you doing to make your children more aware of charitable opportunities?

Parenting book recommendation

When my kids were 3 and 5, I got "1-2-3 Magic" based on a recommendation from a family counselor. It has been so helpful over the years. My kids are older now and very well behaved. I credit this book for giving me practical advice to help us have a harmonious family life.

If you're interested, you can check it out here:

1-2-3 Magic

Carpool Confusion

I have two children that each belong to multiple carpools and it was driving me crazy trying to keep track of the different schedules. I have been using Google Calendar for the last year or so to organize our carpool schedules and to share them with other parents we carpool with. This has been going pretty well, but it doesn't have very sophisticated notification. A new service I just found seems like it might fit the bill. Check out https://www.dividetheride.com/ if you're looking for a free carpool organizer that notifies you when plans change.